We recently had an email from a reader asking us to recommend songs to play at her wedding, to soundtrack the all-important first dance. It got us thinking... if you were the wedding DJ, welcoming the bride and groom on to the dancefloor, what are the worst, most unpleasant, anti-social anthems you could unleash at that moment? Here's our Top 10.
1. W.A.S.P. Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)
Singer Blackie Lawless’ bellowed exhortation to “nail your ass to the sheets” is unlikely to strike the requisite note of tender sanctity.
2. Dead Kennedys - Too Drunk To Fuck
A common problem after a boozy reception.
3. Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart
A wedding is no time to wallow in existential despair. That can wait ‘til the honeymoon.
4. Ted Nugent - Thunder Thighs
“She sets me free when she sits on me!”, howls gun-toting metal berk Nugent on this hymn to fat love. Inappropriate.
5. Dolly Parton – DIVORCE
We jest, but many a loathsome, Pat Sharpe-style wedding DJ has no doubt played this “for a laugh”.
6. Grinderman - No Pussy Blues
The bride’s extended family is sure to see the funny side when this deafening tale of frustrated lust blasts from the PA.
7. Guns N' Roses - Used To Love Her (So I Had To Kill Her)
The sneering pay-off - “And I can still hear her complain” - makes this of the most genuinely unpleasant, misogynistic rock songs this side of The Beatles’ Run For Your Life.
8. The Smiths - Girlfriend In A Coma
The perfect song to play while the groom sobs uncontrollably, face down in the wedding cake.
9. Queen – Fat Bottomed Girls
“Get on your bikes and ride!” Oh Freddie Mercury, you silver-tongued charmer, you.
10. Cannibal Corpse – I Cum Blood
They’ll be rolling in the aisles when it gets to the bit about “tonguing her rotting anus.”
4:55 PM | 09/05/2007
Here's what's going on sale this week...
Damon Albarn teases solo album with video, Black Keys announce live return, Bernard Butler's new group to play free gig... Music News Daily
A round-up of all the news, views, interviews and cool music things online today (12 December)
Who goes to winter festivals? We sent two of our contributors to two very different events. Here Jamie Skey watches people blow their own trumpets... and more
Who goes to winter festivals? we sent two of our contributors to two very different events, first-up Michael James Hall at Camber Sands' last avant garde stand
Two Door Cinema Club and more will be heading to Southwold next July
Foo Fighters play tiny pizza gig, 'Lost' Johnny Cash album set for release, Pixies man releasing graphic novel ... Music News Daily
A round-up of all the news, views, interviews and cool music things online today (11 December)