Today BBC 6 Music are to announce the worst song lyric of all time. Surely Snap have to win with their immortal, "I'm as serious as cancer" line? Oasis ought to be ranked highly, too - in fact you could probably fill an entire Top 10 with Noel Gallagher howlers. How about this bit of doggerel from Don't Go Away, which features perhaps the laziest chorus ever written:
"So don't go away, say what you say
But say that you'll stay
Forever and a day."
Rubbish. Anyway, here's the shortlist...
1. ABC - That Was Then But This is Now
More sacrifices than an Aztec priest
Standing here straining at that leash
All fall down, can't complain, mustn't grumble
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble
2. Snap - Rhythm is a Dancer
I'm as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer
3. Human League - The Lebanon
Before he leaves the camp he stops
He scans the world outside
And where there used to be some shops
Is where the snipers sometimes hide
4. Razorlight - Somewhere Else
And I met a girl
She asked me her name
I told her what it was
5. Duran Duran - Is There Something I Should Know?
And fiery demons all dance when you walk through that door
Don't say you're easy on me
You're about as easy as a nuclear war
6. Oasis - Champagne Supernova
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?
7. Des'ree - Life
I don't want to see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news
8. Black Sabbath - War Pigs
Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
9. Toto - Africa
The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Killimanjaro rises like Olympus over the Serengheti
10. U2 - Elevation
I've got no self-control
Been living like a mole now, going down
Excavation
High and high in the sky
You make me feel like I can fly, so high
Elevation
9:06 AM | 04/05/2007
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I think Coldplay's 'Speed Of Sound' should be in this list. It's one of those songs that sounds vaguely profoud until you actually read the lyrics properly.
"Climb up, up in the trees,
every chance that you get,
is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up."
How can you stand with your head in the sand? You'd have to be a contortionist.
Twats!
Posted by statetrooper at 9:29 AM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
the manics had an old song called natwest barclays midlands lloyds (snappy title!). the chorus went:
"natwest! natwest-barclays-midlands-lloyds
blackhorse apocalypse
death sanitised through credit"
the 'black horse', if you remember, was the lloyds tsb logo. unbelievable.
Posted by brezhnev at 9:33 AM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
i'd like to nominate Slipknot's Surfacing, which goes:
Fuck it all! Fuck this world!
Fuck everything that you stand for!
Don't belong! Don't exist!
Don't give a shit!
Don't ever judge me!
Don't you fuckin' judge me!
It's a really pretty song.
Posted by billyraycyrus at 10:33 AM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
this is pretty obscure for you British people but there is a band here in New Zealand called Opshop, and they have a song called Maybe which is awesome ...
but halfway through it has a guitar solo and then a really hard out bridge with lyrics as follows:
'So stay right where you are
We're snoozin' through an alarm
Make no sudden movements
Just tell me where we are'
That gets heaps of radio play at the moment and I laugh myself silly every time I hear it.
Posted by Kelsy at 11:02 AM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Some shockers there. And that Elevation lyric isn't even the worst in the song. I think "a mole, digging in a hole, digging up my soul" is much worse
Posted by Huw Davies at 11:50 AM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
"Read some Byron, Shelley and Keats
Recited it over some hip-hop beats."
Natasha Bedingfield's These Words - how did that miss the cut? Not just those lines but every line in the song. Every line in every Natasha Bedingfield song. The girl ain't a poet.
Posted by Miss Anna at 2:12 PM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
What are you smoking!?
Did you mistakenly put Champagne Supernova lyrics on the top ten worst instead of the top ten best? Those three lines are monumental lyrics in music.
Where were you?
Posted by T Rex at 3:44 PM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
What about "Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut, McDonalds McDonalds"
Inspired
Posted by Anne Marie Hibbert at 4:48 PM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
I think Marvin Gaye's sexual healing has one of the worst openings to a song ever,
'Baby I'm hot just like and oven, I need some lovin'
Feels like someone stabbing a needle in my back whenever I hear those lyrics, if his voice wasnt sheer brilliance I think this would have been in the top 10.
Posted by Sam Lee at 4:55 PM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Robbie Williams hidden song on Rudebox "Dickhead", I could practically quote the whole song.
Some of the creme de la creme of its lyrics,
"Do not have kids
Don't want dickheads to be made dickhead
Why you disrespecting my bra dickhead
Why d'you piss me off in first class dickhead
I'm not sitting here to be treated like a dickhead
Bumba Clart, kin' Raas Clart
Where's the Chorus dickhead "
Or:
"I've got a bucket of shit Ohh Yeah
I've got a bucket of shit
Not, horse shit, cow shit dog shit no REAAL shit!"
Christ!
Posted by Marc at 7:21 PM | 04/05/2007 | Report Abuse
I nominate "Hawaii" by the Young Canadians....
Goin' to fuckin' Hawaii
Lay out in the sun
Gonna stay in Waikiki
Get a tan on my bum
Runnin' from the race, thousands on the run
Makin' like the rich, out in the sun
Posted by Daniel at 12:54 AM | 05/05/2007 | Report Abuse
I think All Saints said it best:
"I've been watching you and I know you like to party, baby
And you know that, that sounds really good to me, yeah
Everybody wants to hang out at my party, baby
don't you know that this is the only place to be
(Don't you wanna come and see, yeah)"
Second down the line could quite possibly be:
"I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices."
....
"I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let's spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff"
Posted by Elizabeth at 2:26 AM | 05/05/2007 | Report Abuse
The Raconteurs Intimate secratary is pretty bad
"I've got a rabbit it likes to hop
I've got a girl and she likes to shop
This ringing in my ears won't stop
I've got a red Japanese tea-pot
I've got a pen but I lost the top"
but the last verses are the best
"Then on rubble of scummest malarchy
Down with luck we'll see Ecclesiarchy
The Ex Inspector Inquisitor
The Demockery lust streets master
Are you part of this kack histocracy?"
Posted by plastercaster at 12:22 PM | 05/05/2007 | Report Abuse
I agree with T Rex ! Champagne Supernova can be deepest than you thought !!
To my mind, there's no worst lyrics than a french singer's named Katerine. Even if I like his music, "Louxor J'Adore" is just ... stupid !
It goes :
"I looooooove to watch dancing people
from the café Le Louxor,
to watch people dancing,
I love, I love, I love, I love, I love, I looooooove !
And I turn off the sound ! ... And I turn on the sound !
I looooove ...."
The video is on You Tube ;)
Posted by Mister Purple Eyes at 1:19 PM | 05/05/2007 | Report Abuse
I think aswell, the B-52s Rock Lobster should be put up here
"We were at a party, his ear lobe fell into the deep, somebody reached in and grabbed it, it was a rock lobster"
"We were at the beach, everybody had matching towels, somebody went under a dock, and there they saw a rock, it wasn't a rock, it was a rock lobster!"
Classic.
Posted by Sam Lee at 3:25 PM | 05/05/2007 | Report Abuse
I don't think U2's elevation should be there, and I don't think Don't Go Away should be as an example. Worst lyrics ever could be Blur "girl's like the boys like the girls like the boys..." Not exactly Wordsworth.
Sting is a great lyricist with songs like "I'm so happy, I can't stop crying". Beautiful. Oasis go from top (Live Forever, Let There Be Love) to bottom (Champagne Supernova). Fortify also have some pretty fucking amazing lyrics.
The worst lyrics in the universe must from the chick from Aqua: "It's your duty duty, to shake your booty booty!" I'd never show myself again if I put out something that brainless.
Posted by Christopher at 3:39 PM | 05/05/2007 | Report Abuse
blow me, one of greatest songs by Oasis ever. The lyrics are a means to the music for Noel, if you don't understand that, get a new line of work you twats.
Posted by fasty at 5:58 AM | 06/05/2007 | Report Abuse
dont let the sun go down on me????? as if you would let a huge firey planet near your genitals for fuck sake....
Posted by badger legs at 3:26 PM | 06/05/2007 | Report Abuse
The best is Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by the smiths.
"I was looking for a job and then I found a job"
How did Morrisey manage to come up with that!
Posted by Matt at 9:16 PM | 06/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Surely the winner has to be The Verve!
"Yes, there's love as you want it
Don't sound like a Sonnet"
God they were shite, seems only I noticed it though.
Posted by Bob at 10:47 AM | 07/05/2007 | Report Abuse
In response to an earlier post about the Manics' classic Natwest Barclays Midland Lloyds.
Today, of course, it would have to be Natwest Barclays HSBC Lloyds. Which, if anything, scans even worse.
Posted by brezhnev at 12:16 PM | 08/05/2007 | Report Abuse
i dont champagne supernova should be there but there is one oasis song which is truly terrible! 'Little James' by liam
'you live for your toys
even though they make noise
have you ever played with plastocene,
or even tried a trampoline' BRUTLE!
Posted by Cathal at 6:37 PM | 08/05/2007 | Report Abuse
if you think Don't go away is one of the worst lyrics ever is because you haven't listened to spanish bands...(and I'm spanish)
Posted by pilar at 3:09 PM | 09/05/2007 | Report Abuse
eer i can definitely think of worse oasis lyrics than those to champagne supernova... hows about :
shes got a brother,
we dont get along with one another
but i quite fancy her mother
and i think that she likes me
and i could go on
shes got a cousin
in fact shes got bout a dozen
and shes got one in the oven
dire... not that i dislike oasis, please dont misunderstand.... !
Posted by Em at 6:10 PM | 10/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Man your all losing the plot. How about RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBY
DO YA DO YA DO YA DO YA
Posted by ben goulson at 6:39 PM | 10/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Oasis? What the hell, take that out of there now! Almost as bad as the time you guys put Standing on the Shoulders of Giants in the Worst 50 albums of all time.
Posted by Jamie Feltham at 7:03 PM | 12/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Oh you and you forget Busted's Year 3000 (I feel dirty just mentioining them)
Boy bands, and another one
And another one
And another one.
Posted by Jamie Feltham at 7:04 PM | 12/05/2007 | Report Abuse
What about this from Melanie C. I don't remember the name of the song and I really wish I could forget more about her.
"I couldn’t live without my phone/but you don’t even have a home",
Posted by Paul at 7:20 PM | 12/05/2007 | Report Abuse
The Spice Girls sang, 'I Really, Really, Really wanna ZigaZigAhh.'
When asked what ZigaZigAhh was they responded that it 'was whatever you wanted most in the world.'
So what the lyric is saying is 'I Really, Really, Really Wanna do whatever I most want to do in the world.'
Surely there is no contest, this is the worst lyric ever.
Posted by Paul at 7:40 PM | 12/05/2007 | Report Abuse
I personally think the Fratellis have one of the Worst from Cunty Boys and City Girls:
"I said I don't get out too much I said
She said you said I said two times instead"
Posted by Adrian Cartridge at 12:28 PM | 15/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Oh btw. U2's Elevation isn't the worst U2 lyric Ever! Listen to the Pop Album's "Mofo".
Posted by Adrian Cartridge at 12:42 PM | 15/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Yeah yeah, they're all pretty naff but check this out from the Beastie Boys Intergalactic:
If you try to knock me you'll get mocked
I'll stir fry you in my wok
Your knees'll start shaking and your fingers pop
Like a pinch on the neck of Mr. Spock
In fact, you could choose pretty much any lyric from that song. A little more up to date one from the Killers:
Don't you wanna feel my bones on your bones?
It's only natural
Doesn't feel too natural to me!!
Posted by Dan French at 2:20 PM | 15/05/2007 | Report Abuse
The previous Oasis lyrics mentioned are awesome, but if you want monumentaly bad lyris how's about " I can see a liar"
"I can see a liar
Sitting by the fire"
the effort that went in to them is as far from Mind blowing as you can get
Posted by gazza. at 8:01 AM | 17/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Thank you for mentioning that Snap lyric, it has killed me for a great number of years.
I can only contribute a line or two from the Pet Shop Boys track, Left to My Own Devices:
"But in the back of my head I heard distant feet,
Che Guevara and Debussy to a disco beat"
I love the song but the idea makes me cringe. Maybe because I don't like Debussy (and I honestly prefer the company of the Pet Shop Boys)...
Posted by Elle at 5:19 PM | 31/05/2007 | Report Abuse
Great selection - the Snap, Oasis and Des'ree lyrics have always been good for a laugh - and yes the Kaiser Chiefs really are that pathetic. Can the people who claim Noel Gallagher's lyrics aren't truly appalling in every sense please give some evidence to the contrary. Oasis made a few hummable tunes and, let's face it, that was about it.
Posted by Bob Huxford at 10:33 AM | 25/07/2007 | Report Abuse
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