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A suicidal muppet, Bowie does his best Sonny & Cher routine and Weller feels a bit saucy. What's on the web this month ...

Sad Kermit spirals into oblivion
The maudlin muppet’s latest musical tribute, this time to both the late Elliot Smith’s Needle In The Hay and The Royal Tennenbaums’ suicide scene it accompanied. Kermit’s strangled vowels are the perfect accompaniment to Smith’s desperate lyrics of destitute love, but watching a felt frog shave with a cut-throat razor will make your teeth fuzz over.

Last orders called on the Underground
The immediate response to new London mayor Boris Johnson’s announcement of an alcohol ban on the captial’s transport system was the counter-announcement of a Circle Line tube party to mark the last night of legal boozing. Cue utter carnage as revellers take the opportunity to chant “Boris is a c***” while downing subterranean alcopops at a rate to make Daily Mail readers despair of the nation’s youth.

Conchords open for Business
Proving that comedy songs don’t have to be silly. Stripped of the surreal whimsy of their TV show, as for this New York performance, Flight Of The Conchords’ songs, such as this version of Business Time, are wonderful observations on modern life. As much libidinous Prince and Isaac Hayes funky fun as you can have with your business socks on. (See full feature next month)

Japanese look-alikes save the world
From the home of karaoke comes a bizarre tribute to USA For Africa’s Live Aid song We Are The World. Cyndi Lauper is brilliant, Tina Turner has a lovely wig, Stevie Wonder and Lionel Ritchie could loose a few pounds. Bruce Springsteen, though, sounds like a rutting rhinoceros with piles.

The glam Sonny & Cher
Forget Max Mosley and his Nazi hookers, real fancy dress is David Bowie looking like a discarded extra from the Flash Gordon movie and Marianne Faithful in a diamante-studded nun’s habit. Boggle, then, at their version of I Got You Babe from Bowie’s 1980 Floor Show – recorded at London’s Marquee Club in, of course, 1973.

Bo Diddley RIP
R&B pioneer Bo Diddley’s death on 2 June left the rock world without one of its prime sources of inspiration. This scintillating, high voltage performance of his signature riff from Hey, Bo Diddley (circa 1970) shows why. Without Bo Diddley, there would be no Rolling Stones, and without The Rolling Stones…

Swearing is big and clever
If you thought the most-used word in the classic Al Pacino gangster movie Scarface was ‘fuck’, you’d be right. If you were in any doubt, this version of the movie – edited down to the bare bones of every consecutive use of the word – will convince you. Absolutely the swearingest thing on the internet, it makes Cartman with Tourettes sound like Mary Poppins. Will someone do the same thing to Gordon Ramsey?

Amy Winehouse in ‘refreshed’ shock
Even more disturbing than those clips with mice and Pete Dougherty is La Winehouse’s return to gigging in Lisbon on 31 May. Suffering a ‘sore throat’, she croaks on about being late and her auntie, and afterwards had to deny rumours she sacked the band following the show. Lucky, as it’s only their professionalism that holds her shaky performance together.

Sing live with Aimee Mann
It’s quite simple. Record a video of yourself singing Aimee Mann’s latest single, post it on YouTube and the singer herself will choose her favourite. That lucky person then gets to perform on stage with Ms Mann (you can download an instrumental version of the song to sing along to). Frankly, you can’t do worse than what’s already posted.

Paul Weller gets hot and bothered
His latest album 22 Dreams is a return to form, but 25 years ago Paul Weller was all about destroying the myth of The Jam, the band he’d split the year before. Weller and Style Council musical partner Mick Talbot hired a punt, slapped on the sunscreen and recorded this video for single Long Hot Summer, complete with man-on-man ear fondling. No snickering at the back!

4:21 PM | 03/07/2008