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Happy birthday to you

Old rockers never die, they just invent more euphemisms for getting jiggy.
Except Joe Elliott: this year’s Def Leppard album Songs From The Sparkle
Lounge boasted a fnarr-free tracklisting (notable exception Come Undone
aside). Help Joe celebrate his 49th birthday this month with the 1987
classic Pour Some Sugar On Me. Fnarr.

Metallica assaulted by flying footwear

Savour this month’s cover stars, looking remarkably hairy and
unreconstructed on stage in Austin, Texas, in 1994; a time before fashion
makeovers and lifestyle coaches. Then watch as not one but shoes come
hurtling in the direction of frontman James Hetfield, who hints at a missed
career as a baseball catcher, by stopping the first one without even missing
a note.

Jim Corr, conspiracy theorist

Does anyone really have a handle on the controversial Lisbon Treaty? Jim
Corr does. Forever ‘that bloke at the back’, of The Corrs, he campaigned
heavily for a ‘no’ vote in the Irish referendum, but it’s unlikely many of
his fellow agitators shared his view that the Treaty is the work of the
secret Illuminati cabal pushing their evil desire for a world government.

M.I.A. retires

North London’s M.I.A. has made more of a splash in the US than she has at
home; 2007’s Kala album made Rolling Stone magazine’s Top Ten albums of the
year, while this June performance at Tennessee’s Bonnaroo festival shows the
abandon with which she’s greeted live. Strange, then, that she announces
it’s her last ever gig halfway through.

Remembering Amy Winehouse

It’s unlikely anyone other than Amy Winehouse herself thinks her life is
under control. Hospital, rehab, prison and a disintegrating voice are
testament to a talent being slowly dashed on life’s rocks. The video for
2007 single Back To Black is a reminder of that talent, but it also
illustrates how rapid her deterioration has been.

Spiritualized get high

Spiritualized’s Jason Pierce gets transported, quite literally, in 2001. The
promo video for the wonderfully uplifting single Doing It All Over Again
features frontman Pierce, reclining in a rescue cradle, and then borne aloft
several hundred feet in the air from a helicopter, before making a
spectacular splashdown in the sea. No wonder he caught a chill…

It’s elementary…

Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell are preparing to remake Sherlock Holmes
as a comedy, but Q prefers the greatest TV incarnation of the timeless
sleuth as played by Jeremy Brett in the ‘80s. Dissolute and drug addled,
it’s unlikely Cohen’s character will have Watson exasperatedly asking him,
“What is it today Holmes, opium or cocaine?”

Devil wouldn’t recognise you

How times change. Once Iggy Pop represented everything degenerate and
deranged about rock’n’roll. Now a respected elder statesman, he and his
re-formed (and reformed) Stooges paid tribute to Madonna when she was
inducted into the US Rock’N’Roll Hall Of Fame this year, playing Ray Of
Light to the confused, and possibly concussed, Queen Of Pop.

Iron Man vs Batman

If you care about comics, then you’ll already have had the Iron Man vs
Batman/Marvel vs DC pub debate in the wake of The Dark Knight’s release.
It’s unlikely your argument will have been this funny, however, or have
involved Tony Stark electrocuting Spider-Man.

The ghost of Boy George past

A grim reminder of Culture Club at the 1986 Anti-Apartheid Benefit Gig in
London’s Clapham Common. A wasted, spectral-looking George – his face
covered, apparently, in flour – croaks his way through Culture Club’s hit
Black Money, in a performance that sparked a raft of tabloid headlines,
including the infamous “Junkie George Has Eight Weeks To Live”.

2:01 PM | 31/07/2008

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