QTheMusic.com

According to the usual January story that seems to get trotted out every year now, guitar-based music is dead. Doh! Oh well it had a good run, even if the guitar shops nearby the Q office seem to still be doing a roaring trade... But who needs guitars anyway? For any bands looking to survive this six-stringed cull, here are ten unlikely alternatives instruments with prior rock'n'roll experience... well only just.

1. Cowbells
Heard on: The Rapture's House Of Jealous Lovers
OK, cowbells are often included as part of a drum kit, but The Rapture have built an entire sound around them - so much so that one of the band dances with the cowbells hanging around his neck. Said cowbells play to the offbeats of the drum track, creating a distinctive groove. And cowbell man is having fun (see video above).

2. Harp
Heard on: Joanna Newsom's '81
The harp is no gimmick for Californian songstress Joanna Newsom, who can also play piano real good and has a voice quite unlike any other. It's all haunting raw emotion, soaring soprano and softly plucked strings. Is it rock'n'roll? Done Newsome's way - we think so.

3. Lute
Heard on: Sting's Fields Of Gold
The lute has been around in one form or another long before rock'n'roll came about, supposedly going all the way back to the ancient Greeks and Egyptians. Now Sting plays one, which we suppose is a natural evolution. When not using it to record entire albums of (musically authentic) Elizabethan court music, Sting sometimes plays it on tracks of his own composing.

4. Bagpipes
Heard on: AC/DC's It's A Long Way To The Top If Ya Wanna Rock And Roll
Bagpipes are great at getting people to walk in line, feel a sense of national pride and walk straight into volleys of cannon and musket fire. Presumably, knowing this, Bon Scott (and a Scotsman, of course) and co used the bagpipes to rock out. What better way to encourage audiences blindly back to rock?

5. Hand Saw
Heard on: Dreamland Faces' Smoke Rings
Hey, did you know that if you take a hand saw (the DIY, saws planks of wood kind), bend it tenuously, and stroke it with a violin bow you can create really unearthly noises? It sounds a little like a theremin, but it doesn't need batteries. It certainly makes a strong impression with audience, but watch out for those sharp edges or people constantly asking you for DIY favours if you do adopt it as a main instrument.

6. Beer Kegs
Heard on: Slipknot's Duality
Slipknot know how to blow people's eardrums into the recesses of their skulls in a theatrical, half serious kind of way. One of their members; Clown (official title: "percussionist"), seems to be employed solely to smash a beer keg with a baseball bat during gigs. Good job if you can get it, and with all those tours jetting all over the world, perhaps more bands should be recycling beer kegs as instruments to offset the old carbon footprint.

7. Airpole AKA Glorified Drainpipe
Heard on: Blue Man Group's Shadows Part 2
Can a group of mute, blue skinned men, exploring the characterisation of the human persona through physical theatre be considered rock'n roll? We're not sure. Why are they blue? Why do they have maracas? Can somebody explain this? Still the Blue Men certainly are fearless in terms of raiding the music cupboard for the least popular instruments. Behold one such device: the "Airpole" - basically a really long drain pipe.

8. Paul McCartney eating carrots and celery
Heard on: Super Furry Animals' Receptacle For The Respectable
Anyone chewing on a record might not really work, but if it's a Beatle then that not only counts as an instrument, but it also immediately makes it one of the most expensive and rarest instruments on earth. Super Furry Animals were the last to use one, getting Paul McCartney to chop rhythmically on Receptacle For The Respectable, in tribute to The Beach Boys 1967 track Vega-Tables, which also featured Macca's molar skills. "We just didn't want him to strain his voice, and we didn't want him to play bass because he's done that so many times in his life. He's probably sick of singing cameo roles," explained SFA and you can't argue with their (fuzzy) logic.

9. More vegetables
Heard on: The Vienna Vegetable Orchestra's Onionoise
Actually chewing veggies is only the beginning. This group of clever Austrians have taken musical food to next level: drilling holes in carrots and playing them like recorders, using leafy greens as shakers and using some kind of long root vegetable like a flugelhorn (yes, really). Plus they're deadly serious about it. You've probably gathered that they're not your traditional orchestra, experimenting with dub, free jazz, house, and other genres most orchestras don't dare touch.

10. Didgeridoo
Heard on: Rolf Harris Sun Arise
You've probably heard of the didgeridoo, affectionately referred to as the 'didge' by practitioners and appreciators alike. Supposedly one of the oldest wind instruments in the world - some say it dates back to 20,000BC! That makes it an actual prehistoric instrument, and one still being used today. You don't see too many of those these days outside of a Rolf Harris gig, but if you're looking for longevity in these fickle times what better career path to follow? He's virtually guaranteed a slot at Glastonbury every year! (Well apart from this one, obviously...)
Jack Oughton @koukouvaya

11:26 AM | 26/01/2012